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date: Wed, 20 Nov 2002 14:53:41 -0600
from: worm 1
subject: B to tha OC

  an excerpt from a phone conversation held earlier today:

me: "hello."

receptionist: "mr. bishop, we have a j.lo on the line for you."

me: "thank you, please send the call through."

j.lo: "is this the breakfast of champions guy?"

me: "pardon?"

j.lo: "what's the deal, messing with my stuff, pretending you're all that and such!"

me: "j to tha lo, my apologies, i meant no harm."

ben affleck: "who do you think you are, messing with my lady's lyrics like that. don't you know they have deep personal meaning to her, they come from her heart."

me: "can i get your autograph mr. affleck. you were swell in changing lanes."

j.lo: "don't mess with my music!"

ben: "sure, send me a self addressed stamped envelope and i'll...i mean, don't you mess with my honey!"

me: "i'm a little confused, who is this?"

j.lo: "who is this!?! I'll show you who this is, you little twerp. where can i find you!?!"

me: "why, you can find me at the uptowner in St. Paul, corner of Grand and Lexington, this Sunday at 10:30 am."

j.lo: "i'm gonna kick your arse you song stealing fool!"

me: "i'm not quite sure if everyone would agree on the idea that your lyrics actually make any kind of song."

j.lo: "[expletive deleted] you, you mother[expletive deleted]!"

ben: "thats it, i know how to settle this, i'm calling vonnegut..."

j.lo: "who the [expletive deleted] is vonnegut?"

and thus the conversation came to a close. will our hero live to see another breakfast of champions? will ben actually call mr vonnegut, or is he just pretending he knows what he is talking about? and will the uptowner be able to serve a meal in under an hour? find out all this and more at breakfast this Sunday...