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date: Thu, 4 Mar 2004 16:00:38 -0600
from: worm 1
subject: breakfast of champions

  excerpts from the journal of patrick, a guy at my office who doesn't realize he is saving them on the shared drive:

February 13th, 2004
this afternoon i got some kind of quick drying adhesive all over my hands. before i thought it through i had started scratching my head when my hand became glued to the hair on the side of my head. i think i'm going to tell my boss i'm not feeling well and need to go home early as she is starting to wonder why i've been scratching my head for the last hour and a half. typing this is difficult. i have no idea what i'm going to tell Jody tomorrow. i may have to cancel our valentine date.

February 17th, 2004
well, Jody didn't take our date very well. unable to get the glue to wash out completely i shaved my head late friday night. Jody wasn't to pleased about that, she said it made me look like a skinhead. it didn't help that i kept my left hand in my pocket all evening as it still had much of the hair from that side of my head glued to it. she became agitated when i refused to take it out of the pocket after sitting down to dinner, screaming "first you tell me i'm buying dinner as you've forgotten your wallet, again, and then you spend the first ten minutes playing pocket pool under the table!". Jody isn't much for tact. we were asked to leave. we did not share a cab ride home. i had to walk as i had left my wallet at home, again.

February 19th, 2004
Jody called and asked if we were still going out this weekend. I told her I had assumed not, which apparently was not the correct answer as she promptly hung up. most of the hair is gone from my left hand. no one will talk to me at work. I did, however, discover that soap will easily remove the quick dry adhesive i used last friday. if only i had thought of reading the back of the bottle sooner. i am off now to clean off the rest of the hair from my left hand.

February 20th, 2004
Somehow word has spread at my office about the whole hair/glue event. I came to work today to find fourteen bottles of adhesive on my desk, many with post-it notes warning not to use as hair product. very creative, really. I will have to look into how they found out, i think my boss may have suspected and spread the word. i'm keeping my eye on her.

Breakfast this week will be at 10:30 am, Sunday, at the stardust bowling lanes:

Stardust Bowling Lanes
Address: 2520 26th Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55406