boc

witless worm

home forum myspace pick it up pick it up videos podcast staticnullvoid wiki zine

odd dirt

breakfast of champions choose your own adventure conversations with smoot confidential information imagined vacations mail petac journal of patrick short stories spider-man &i viking of the year what they said

rants & reviews

book worm breakfast directions drunken concert fists of fury moral debates movie radio television

merch

store tip jar

about the authors

about the authors worm 1 worm 2 worm 3 worm 4 worm 5 worm 6 worm 7 worm 8 worm 9 worm 10 site changelog site map site search sign guestbook view guestbook mail bag mailing list atom/rss/xml feed blogroll feed contact webmaster
rss podcast feed
rss 2.0 feed
css 2.0 valid
xhtml 1.1 valid
last maint: 08.28.2006
shop
flickr
germany hawaii lucky charm pat mccurdy logan 2006 larsons big olaf's costello's egg and i
new content
08.25.2006: conversations with smoot
08.21.2006: 2006 voty nominees
08.04.2005: cat borne parasite
08.01.2005: short bus
07.27.2005: 2006 viking of the year
07.21.2006: greatest game never played
07.11.2005: ode to west virginia
07.07.2006: football movies
06.29.2006: flavor country
06.08.2006: conversations with smoot
04.30.2006: conversations with smoot
04.03.2006: conversations with smoot
03.10.2006: fistful of fortune cookies
03.01.2006: occupancy fee
02.14.2006: f valentine's day?
02.02.2006: integrity?
02.01.2006: conversations with smoot
01.20.2006: embracing your inner g
01.06.2006: 2006 dead pool
12.16.2005: conversations with smoot
featured content
11.04.2005: what if jay-z
10.27.2005: 10 punches, 1 drink
09.24.2005: awesome mix tape podcast
09.15.2005: lucky fan contest
09.09.2005: 2005 viking of the year
08.20.2005: american pie 4
08.14.2005: based on a true story
08.14.2005: swirling
08.14.2005: birthday card
08.14.2005: last stand of an american
02.14.2005: st. valentine adventures
07.30.2004: 2004 viking of the year
07.09.2004: for molly
07.09.2004: mr c
07.09.2004: the asshole
07.09.2004: the couch
07.09.2004: vincenti
07.09.2004: the phone talks to me
07.09.2004: warm apple pie
07.09.2004: i used to be vanilla ice
07.01.2004: spider man and i - chapter 1
10.21.2003: 2003 viking of the year
email sign up
date: Thu, 4 Mar 2004 16:00:38 -0600
from: worm 1
to: comrades@everyoneIKnowWithAnEmailAddress.com
subject: breakfast of champions

  excerpts from the journal of patrick, a guy at my office who doesn't realize he is saving them on the shared drive:

February 13th, 2004
this afternoon i got some kind of quick drying adhesive all over my hands. before i thought it through i had started scratching my head when my hand became glued to the hair on the side of my head. i think i'm going to tell my boss i'm not feeling well and need to go home early as she is starting to wonder why i've been scratching my head for the last hour and a half. typing this is difficult. i have no idea what i'm going to tell Jody tomorrow. i may have to cancel our valentine date.

February 17th, 2004
well, Jody didn't take our date very well. unable to get the glue to wash out completely i shaved my head late friday night. Jody wasn't to pleased about that, she said it made me look like a skinhead. it didn't help that i kept my left hand in my pocket all evening as it still had much of the hair from that side of my head glued to it. she became agitated when i refused to take it out of the pocket after sitting down to dinner, screaming "first you tell me i'm buying dinner as you've forgotten your wallet, again, and then you spend the first ten minutes playing pocket pool under the table!". Jody isn't much for tact. we were asked to leave. we did not share a cab ride home. i had to walk as i had left my wallet at home, again.

February 19th, 2004
Jody called and asked if we were still going out this weekend. I told her I had assumed not, which apparently was not the correct answer as she promptly hung up. most of the hair is gone from my left hand. no one will talk to me at work. I did, however, discover that soap will easily remove the quick dry adhesive i used last friday. if only i had thought of reading the back of the bottle sooner. i am off now to clean off the rest of the hair from my left hand.

February 20th, 2004
Somehow word has spread at my office about the whole hair/glue event. I came to work today to find fourteen bottles of adhesive on my desk, many with post-it notes warning not to use as hair product. very creative, really. I will have to look into how they found out, i think my boss may have suspected and spread the word. i'm keeping my eye on her.


Breakfast this week will be at 10:30 am, Sunday, at the stardust bowling lanes:

Stardust Bowling Lanes
Address: 2520 26th Ave S, Minneapolis, MN 55406