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last maint: 08.25.2006
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08.21.2006: 2006 voty nominees
08.04.2005: cat borne parasite
08.01.2005: short bus
07.27.2005: 2006 viking of the year
07.21.2006: greatest game never played
07.11.2005: ode to west virginia
07.07.2006: football movies
06.29.2006: flavor country
06.08.2006: conversations with smoot
04.30.2006: conversations with smoot
04.03.2006: conversations with smoot
03.10.2006: fistful of fortune cookies
03.01.2006: occupancy fee
02.14.2006: f valentine's day?
02.02.2006: integrity?
02.01.2006: conversations with smoot
01.20.2006: embracing your inner g
01.06.2006: 2006 dead pool
12.16.2005: conversations with smoot
featured content
11.04.2005: what if jay-z
10.27.2005: 10 punches, 1 drink
09.24.2005: awesome mix tape podcast
09.15.2005: lucky fan contest
09.09.2005: 2005 viking of the year
08.20.2005: american pie 4
08.14.2005: based on a true story
08.14.2005: swirling
08.14.2005: birthday card
08.14.2005: last stand of an american
02.14.2005: st. valentine adventures
07.30.2004: 2004 viking of the year
07.09.2004: for molly
07.09.2004: mr c
07.09.2004: the asshole
07.09.2004: the couch
07.09.2004: vincenti
07.09.2004: the phone talks to me
07.09.2004: warm apple pie
07.09.2004: i used to be vanilla ice
07.01.2004: spider man and i
10.21.2003: 2003 viking of the year
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mission statment

have you ever known someone that knew just enough about a subject to sound like a leading authority? here, at the witless worm, we will lead you to that low hanging fruit. why know everything there is to know on a topic? especially, when you can get by on so much less? your comrades will still perceive you as knowledgeable; which now will be based on of your breath of intellect versus your shallowness. now, without the investment of time you will be perceived as well rounded and even well read. who has the time or dedication for true mastery in the era of thousand channel tv systems, gps enabled talking cars, interactive vr games and our personal favorite online voyeurism? no one, that's who. not even you sir.

so, we applaud you on your quest for shallow insight in all matters. kudos! in the coming weeks, months and years the staff, here at the witless worm, will instill nuggets of wisdom seldom found in the expanse that is the internet. well, that is of course, if you don't search too hard. again, we're all about perception, in actuality you've just skimmed the issues to wow the masses. we want you to be able to chime in on intellectual conversations held by smarter people. then just like the professionals, read: franken, moore and o'reilly, you make your quip and leave the scene on a high note. don»t wait around for meaningful debate. no, the statisfaction garnered from such sound byte retorts will fill the emptiness that currently consumes you.

the views given by the authors of the site are theirs and theirs alone. they do not reflect that of the <insert nameless, faceless, souless> corporate entity backing this little venture. all content within the site is © 2005 and can only be used with express written consent of the national football league. offer not valid where prohibited by law. availible only in the continental united states, excluding tennessee. fdic approved. css 2.1 & xhtml 1.0 transitional compliant. best viewed on firefox. furthermore, the witless worm is ™ed. so, enjoy but not too much because they are out there and they are watching!

worm 1 a.k.a. novicebishop is an alleged authority on just about anything and everything.
worm 2 a.k.a. staticnullvoid is not as witless as one but with his help two as come a long way.
worm 3 a.k.a. profressional c is a citizen of the world and proverbial yarn spinner.
worm 4 a.k.a. the shooter is a well known grammar guru and frequent sports critic.
worm 5 a.k.a. the gooch is an acclaimed wisenhiemer and continues to look for his inner self.
worm 6 a.k.a. johnnie q. bahamas is johnnie q. bahamas.
worm 7 a.k.a. saveth3queen is our international correspondent and your tour guide.
worm 8 a.k.a. rkk1976 is quite witty but can't seem to find anyone to pay her for that. also, truely wants to be worm 13.
worm 9 a.k.a. yetiyenta is amelia santaniello to worm2's frank vascellaro.
worm 10 a.k.a. the underboss is second in command. remember kids, don't be a stoolie.

other worm hole adventures:

happy 5th birthday witlessworm.com
witlessworm.com testimonials:

"A forum that allows for the free exchange of ideas such as this that makes me proud that I invented the Internet." - Former Vice-President Al Gore

"Those hippie liberals aren't funny." - johntomczak.com

"They're idiots! They don't have a clue what they're talking about!" - Kevin McHale

"Five years? Man, I've got VD older than that." - Fred Smoot

"I Googled my own name and this was the first hit." - Johnny "Franchise" McWilliams

"00101110010110010100010100101010001010100101111011." - Bill Gates

"Have they made any money yet?" - Your Mom

"Yes Mom, I had to move to Bemidji to get way from the massive success of the website." - worm 1

"I wish I knew a talented web designer willing to work for fame and glory. plug. **cough**. plug. help!" - worm 2

"Man, I wish they would bring back Breakfast of Champions. I'm still hungry." - worm 3

"Umm, you realize that 'witless' is misspelled on the t-shirts, right?" - worm 4

"We're paying him while he's doing this crap?!?" - worm 4's boss

"Truth be told, worm 1 moved to Bemidji to live with his "partner" and away from our prying eyes. And you thought I was the gay one." - worm 5

"Hmmmm... I'm gonna have to talk to my lawyers about this." - An Actual Worm

m">worm 5

"Hmmmm... I'm gonna have to talk to my lawyers about this." - An Actual Worm