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date: Thu, 6 May 2004 12:37:12 -0500
from: worm 1
subject: breakfast of champions

  My five predictions for the FRIENDS series finale, 8pm Central, NBC.

1. Monica and Chandler will finally "hook up".

2. In what appears to be a fluke accident, the core of the Earth stops rotating, causing massive electrical storms to sweep the surface of the planet which will eventually kill all life. A group of wayward scientists and a space shuttle pilot (?) must dig to the center of the Earth and "restart" the core. Dubbed Terranauts, they will risk their lives in a zany adventure to the center of the planet. It is there that they will discover it was mankind, experimenting where they shouldn't have been, that caused the core to stall. When will we learn?

3. Six people will get paid more money than I will ever make in my life to cry a lot and make bad jokes. And make out with Jennifer Anniston. Jerks.

4. Ellen Degeneres will be added to the cast, realizing to late that the show is being canceled following her first full episode. She will then proceed to make the claim that the networks canned the show because they can't handle an openly gay woman on prime time television, denying the rumors that it may be because she just isn't funny. She'll try to do the talk show circuit, but find that only shows like Dr. Phil and Last Call with Carson Daly will have her.

5. With the end of FRIENDS, Everybody Loves Raymond will become the most popular show on television, thus proving we are all morons.

Breakfast this week will once again be at Lyles, on Saturday at 10:30 am. That's Saturday, the day after Friday.

Lyle's Bar & Restaurant
2021 Hennepin Ave. S.

Why, you might ask, are we going to Lyle's again? I could try to tell you that it was because the food was spectacular, but honestly it's because you get a complimentary bloody mary with your meal.